The Ups and Quiet Downs of a Creative Life

Embracing the slog of averageness in a world that's going viral.

It sounds like such fun when you’re a teenager, and you proudly state ‘I’m going to be a writer.’ Or maybe a filmmaker, or actor, or painter, or whatever creative thing it is you chose to do.

Many thought you were insane, or plain dreaming. Many thought you’d fail.

And of course, they’re right about failure.

All creativity is failure.

Even if you have a success, the first thing people ask is, ‘what’s next?’ -or- ‘Can you achieve that again, or was it a fluke?’

Even if you weren’t the type of teenager to proudly state your ambitions. Instead, maybe those dreams quietly grew inside of you. Everyone else in your class was struggling to come up with a story to write, but you could do it with ease, because writing came naturally to you.

The thing they don’t tell you about being a creative, is that it’s a lifelong thing. If you’re a filmmaker, you make films. If you stop, people ask why you stopped. You usually say ‘I’m between projects,’ or ‘I’m working on something,’ but it’s rare you say ‘my soul has died, I’m empty. I just want to win the lottery and watch reality TV.’ But that is truthful more often than it’s not.

Your creative spark requires renewal. A rebirth. Everyone else gets to say ‘I don’t like sci-fi,’ but if you’re creative, you can’t turn completely away from a genre because, eventually, you’re going to need to find some inspiration from it.

Inspiration. What a word. It sounds— inspiring. But so often, it’s a slog.

Do you honestly know any creative person who is constantly in a state of beautiful, wonderful creation?

Sure, many people say they are abundantly and never-endingly creative. Good for them, but do they have an audience?

Because when you have an audience, it gets harder.

Your ego wants your stuff to be great.

Your audience wants the same thing as before, only they don’t want to notice it’s the same as before. If they spot you’re plagiarising yourself, they’ll tell you you’re out of ideas.

“YES, I AM CONSTANTLY OUT OF IDEAS!”

That’s another thing we rarely say.

To be creative is to constantly be on a press junket in your own head, where you tell everyone around you that your new project is coming soon.

When you started out, you got to believe that your creations were masterpieces.

Eventually, you learned your own averageness.

Here’s the level most people don’t get to:

Realising you’re average, and then creating anyway.

Substack is an incredible example of the insanity. Every writer on the platform has to take a position.

So often that position is:

“I don’t write for others, I write for myself.”

Or—

“I only have three subscribers and it’s all I need.”

Of course, we’re all fooling ourselves. I’d love for ‘You’ve Got Media’ to be a giant empire that brings me wealth and fame; but I’m burned out and barely write two articles a month.

And yes, they’re average!

But nearly everyone who is creative is average.

Occasionally, whether it’s the zeitgeist, or just plain luck, we nail something. We go viral. We mean something to people.

With virality comes opportunity. People interested in collaborating with you, maybe even paying you.

The problem is that after your viral smash, you need to produce something else.

And inevitably that thing only gets 19 views.

So who are you - the guy who got millions of views or the guy who got 19?

Which ones defines you?

Neither SHOULD define you, because you’re a well-rounded human being. But when you do creative work, you’re constantly on the hook.

Somebody’s going to try sell you a book or a course that’ll make you be happy with where you’re at, but those people are frauds. They’re only creating those courses because their art isn’t paying the bills the way they thought it would.

Everyone creative is trying to do work that means something.

But they’re also trying to pay the bills.

And sure there are people out there who post poetry for nobody just because it’s a fun hobby, and that’s fine.

But most of my friends who do this stuff, they do it for a living. You wouldn’t know that, because they’re working in cafes and being extras on film sets and going into debt buying new computers for video editing.

Somehow we gotta get back to the brains we had as teenagers.

When it was fun.

When somehow, it was easy.

When we felt INSPIRED!

Everyone tries everything.

Inspirational self-help books.
Vitamin pills.
Retreats.
Holidays.
5am Ice Baths.
Podcasts.
Taking in world affairs.
Ignoring world affairs.
Writing to idols and potential mentors.
Going it alone.
Rehashing a past glory.

Photo by Felix Koutchinski on Unsplash

The point to all this ramble is that creativity is a full time job. And virtually no-one doing it is in a healthy, wonderful and rested, non-addicted mind.

I know for sure I’d be more creative right now if I was reading two hours a day, but I have a baby, and I also have social media to scroll through, where can I find the time?

If you have a friend who has tried to get a project off the ground at any point in the last five years, check in with them. Not to judge their progress, but just to say hello - to let them know they have an ally on their crazy, lost, lonely creative journey.